Tech Support

After 3 weeks without a phone my tech cravings have turned to my blog. My instafamily is lost somewhere in the cloud and I cant say that they miss me because they weren't ever in my reality. Life is peaceful without so many social comparisons and pressure. My kids totally appreciate it.

Today marks the last day in June. This month was a blur. My sleep schedule went up in flames and I became intimate with all hours of the day. My one year anniversary from being on Good Day Sac has come and gone without me even noting the event. I was pondering the past when suddenly my present snapped at me - I am turning 32. I thought 31 was scary and now Im solidly in the 30's bracket. Dan is still splashing around at 28. Lucky. The 20's sure were loaded with memories meant to be kept in that decade. These 30's seem to be surrounded by smart decisions and slowing life to a more digestible pace. As my father warned my, the progression of age also means the loss of friends. I do not speak with most people I hung out with in my 20's. All throughout my pregnancy I wondered why it seemed my comrades had all jumped ship. Dan broke it down-I stopped being fun. I wasn't the party pal or dance partner that made me who I was. Unfortunately when the smoke cleared and I asked everyone to stay behind, nobody did. There were other partiers to meet while I was in the corner eating all the cheese and discussing theories on child rearing. Before, I always claimed solitude was something I preferred. Now that it has become a lifestyle I am jealous of having a friend to be about you. My friends have babies or deep relationships that keep them from dedicating more time. Now even I can't shower without thanking the stars for giving me the time to do so. I think it is time to go back to parenting now.

You Miss a Lifetime...

I misplaced my blog when I was unceremoniously discharged from my state position and severed from my computer. Unfortunately I did not have a smart phone before unemployment so very little was saved from my 5 years at the Capitol. Being back and thinking of all the events that have happened since updating this glorious blog. I haven't ridden a bike in a very long time. I replaced free time with this earthly creation:

Hey

I found my blog...prepare for some entries...

Bicycle UPGRADE

Big thanks to the awesome guys at Pedal Hard for taking time to talk with me about what I want to do with my bike. Also for not being assholes like those bigger bike shops

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Welcome to November

It seems like just yesterday it was August. I believe my many hours alone at my office and again at home have fast-forwarded the weeks. Thankfully I have stabilized my life and have settled into a pattern of being ok alone. No long story, just a lot of resolution in my life and final words to end any future communication one might think of having with me. Well, make that for two people, I guess. Looking back I really should have gone into therapy to deal with my insane issues, but I am at the point where I have a clearer look at myself. I just could not live without comparing myself to others and torturing my mind with my inadequacies. I didn't do that before. I forgot to look at how awesome my life is without some turd of a boyfriend or bitchy roommates. I still don't want to be in super social situations, but at least I'm not as prone to avoidance as before.

At a party on Saturday I dressed up as Mary Kate Olsen with flour on my face and fur jacket with leggings. Hilarious. With my first beer of the night a girl walks up to me and askes what I am. I tell her, and she looks me up and down and says "You might want to do something about getting those bones, ya know, exposed." Me from a few months ago probably would have cried. This me just said, "Well, I work with what I got." and thought how sad it must be for her to think that way and speak to people in that manner. As the night progressed I learned she had 3 kids, chain-smoked, and I'm pretty sure she drinks all the time. Maybe her bitch is her defense? I just avoided talking with her the rest of the evening.

I still am scared of the lingering damages Asshole 1 & 2 may have left upon me, but I look to the new year as a year for ME and not for some mean or lying prick. And no more dates from Craigslist. :)

Nightmare

Wow. I have scary dreams, but last night was the first showing of a dead baby in a ziplock bag. I kept finding it in there, opening it, and somehow making it breathe again only to have it die. Many times. I woke up hella confused, but also not preggo or with a dead baby. I forced myself to walk by the child care center today to see some live versions. Bad imagination, time for a time out.

In other news, I found out who snagged the ACWA job. It's this weird pensive genuis boy-man that has worked in the building for a while. Also a third year law student. Yeah, wouldn't have gone for the job if thats the kind they want. Fucking overachievers.