I recently acquired the beauty of cable television. I took a day off on Friday the 18th and had the link established by 9am. I spent the remainder of the day in my recliner ABSORBING everything with fervor. The constant images and conversations blew my mind.
Now, it may seem weird that I'm all antsy pants for the tube, but I really tried to not watch tv for a year. I would watch some sporting events ( I hate dudes) and a random show or what not, but nothing like i had growing up. Free access to a remote is a privelage.
So, with such a spanse between turning off the brain, I wondered what type of programming would pique my interest. It's all about informercials and shows where they just talk about facts. Histroy, Documentary, Animal, and news channels. I love that I learn more by doing nothing. I learned I have a cat that came over on a Viking boat. He kills too. Jeopardy makes me crazy as I eagerly attempt to answer the questions out lound and in time. If Jeopardy was graded, though, I would have repeated last nights grade level. : (
I definately and more than ever fucking hate stupid bitches that go on those reality shows and demean themselves to appear to be the dumbest, sluttiest, prettiest, and most agreeable whore on the show. The prize? A fucking marriage, or at least a date with Ray J. Thanks, but we could talk if the whores were gunning for heart surgery for their dad or helping needy families stay fed. But they aren't. The are money grubbing whores. Actually, that should be the new category for reality programming.
So what the eff is up with New Years. I am definately too old and too foreign to this city to know of a rager or whatnot. I find more comfort in being safe and stable. And drunk. Since I have moved here to Sac, I have had shitty new years. Every year I was with Sean I spent them alone casue he was a bartender so I would get in prom dresses and go to one of his friend's houses and get plastered until he picked me up after his shift. I'm sorry, but it is seriously hard for me to continually drink and stay up past 12. I like herb better, but NYE calls for some dranks!
Mrs. Sylvia is trying to make it up here for the evening. I hope she likes Mandi! Fuck that. She will love Mandi. Fuck people who don't like her. Fuck people that don't like Sylvia too.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Oh Craigslist
Being that its cold and I am alone, I persue Craigslist from time to time, er, everyday to see just what lies beyond the confining walls of work. After all, if I am going out on the town, I like to see what the single guy population is up to.
HOL-Y-SHIT. Ok, first thing that stikes me is the unreal requests these average dudes have for their lady. Be hot, but not whorish. Be thin, like to cook, has money for Daddy, laughs at their jokes, cleans their filth. Sorry boys, the girl you are looking for is available at any major retailer for like $15 and you can get her and all her friends who wont talk back. You know, girls with voices are often times referrred to as their 'crazy bitch' experience. Whatever. You just couldn't handle the intelligence.
Also, its either I Heart Relationship pushovers who just want someone for their motherly issues, or a I Heart Pussy kind of guy that may give you the undie itches or at least the awareness that you are replacable and kind of a skank for being with Captain Freedom Pants.
The nerds, the dorks, the weirdos who I like, who can spell marginally close to their age-level, who like fiesty women, who are respectable and perhaps not seeking internet girlfriends are hiding. I hope its on a sick-ass bike that leads to their own apartment where they do normal and not-normal things and don't bug the shit out of me...
Staying single......
HOL-Y-SHIT. Ok, first thing that stikes me is the unreal requests these average dudes have for their lady. Be hot, but not whorish. Be thin, like to cook, has money for Daddy, laughs at their jokes, cleans their filth. Sorry boys, the girl you are looking for is available at any major retailer for like $15 and you can get her and all her friends who wont talk back. You know, girls with voices are often times referrred to as their 'crazy bitch' experience. Whatever. You just couldn't handle the intelligence.
Also, its either I Heart Relationship pushovers who just want someone for their motherly issues, or a I Heart Pussy kind of guy that may give you the undie itches or at least the awareness that you are replacable and kind of a skank for being with Captain Freedom Pants.
The nerds, the dorks, the weirdos who I like, who can spell marginally close to their age-level, who like fiesty women, who are respectable and perhaps not seeking internet girlfriends are hiding. I hope its on a sick-ass bike that leads to their own apartment where they do normal and not-normal things and don't bug the shit out of me...
Staying single......
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Life as we know it in 2009
What a fucking year.
For those that miss my shenanigans, here is a summary and explanation on why I am so looking forward to 2010. FML was the word of the year, and poverty was the lifestyle choice.
We start in January. I began the year by walking out on my boyfriend of three years. No hanky panky makes a sane girl sad. I had garnered interest in other individuals, and besides my living situation sucked and I hated that I was relied upon for responsibilities that were not to be mine. It was a sad break up, but once it was done I felt like I was recapturing the happy version of me.
I lived at my dad's place for a month or so. This was a good time because I got to reconnect to my father, who walked out on my mom in '03. Yay for role models. This move prompted me to get my ass back on Light Rail. Score one for acquiring pretend boyfriends and endless entertainment. However, this marks the downturn in fortune. As I began relations with my bike messenger, I left my car at the station overnight and my window was smashed. They didn't take anything, but this did remind me that I have nothing of serious worth to take. And the fuckers smashed my Fleetwood Mac tape. Yeah, the car has a tape deck. I had to pay for a new window, I cut my hand on the glass, and we had a random storm that left a puddle in my car.
Adrian. Or better spelled: A drain. A drain on my morals. A drain on my finances. A drain on my self worth. A drain on my life. Also the love of my life. As you can tell, is where I lost my control of my life. Love is blind and this fucker tied the bandana over my eyes. True, I thought he was gorgeous, smart, sexy, great libido, and mostly a friend. We had something together that was amazing. I felt giddy and lovely at first. Then I moved downtown in February. This is when my first apartment was taken hostage by his low-life friends and random ass coke dealers.
The slummers slept over, spilled food on my furniture and my floor, kept me up with their loud ass conversations, ate my food, stole my phone, stole my bob supply once, and generally pissed off my new neighbors by hopping the fence and looking like felons. Actually, two were felons. A-drain struggled with alcohol abuse before, but my new apartment gave him free reign to act as an idiot and drink copious amounts of booze and shop up at my place when he was done squandering his money on dive bars. Hooray. He started hitting me in May. I cannot describe the months between February and May because the shit was the same every day. Work, come home to the apartment filled with assholes, try to protect my food suply, get yelled at for trying to protect my shit, cry, drink, fuck, go to sleep. Well, I din't drink every day but it helped with my situation.
The abuse was the worst part of '09. There were 4 or 5 incidents where A-drain would 'black out' and hit me, push me, scream at me, throw me to the ground, or tell me about girls he thought were attractive. He also told me he would always want to be with black girls more than a white chick. Fucker. This all culminated with the big fight in June. This one ended with me in the hospital and him in jail. After inviting strangers into my home to eat my food, I flipped out and told A-drain they had to leave because they were not invited nor welcome in my home. As I attempted to call the police he grabbed my phone and snapped it in half. I turned red and began Lisa Simpson-style hitting him (swirling your arms in a circular motion to inflict multiple slaps) and his buddies saw this and booked. He took off and I locked the door. He returned some time later and entered, took his shit, and tried to leave. I blocked the door and demanded an apology and money for my broken phone. He grabbed me and threw me to the gound, causing me to smack my head on the floor. The bump was huge an visible through my hair. The next moments were a blur. Security, police, paramedics, hospital, police again, and the call I had to make to my dad at 4am telling him that my boyfriend had been beating me. Shitty. My Uncle Bob died two days later. We were close. Because I was still in recovery, I was able to be by his side as he took his last breath. It was an honor to be the one holding him as he left his body.
By my birthday A-drain and I were seeing each other. He quit drinking and left his circle of friends. Turns out although many aspects of his flaws were solved with these changes, he still was an asshole at heart. He had saved my name as "Crazy Bitch" in his phone, he texted black chicks all the time, and still asked me to buy him food and cater to his needs. Fuck that. We ain't together any more. I'd rather be alone than with someone like him. I still yearn for his company, but I remind myself that I am a great person who will find someone else who will actually love me back.
September, October, November I worked. I rode my bike around town and added a few men to my list of pretend boyfriends. Sylvia visited me more to monitor my progress from escaping an abusive relationship and to get me to laugh again.
This year has placed the darkest clouds in my mind that I haven't seen since my boyfriend killed himself in high school.
FML. Hurry the fuck up, 2010. When those bells ring, let me be in an amazing place with hot naked men and champagne to envy Diddy. A girl can dream when life is a nightmare.....
For those that miss my shenanigans, here is a summary and explanation on why I am so looking forward to 2010. FML was the word of the year, and poverty was the lifestyle choice.
We start in January. I began the year by walking out on my boyfriend of three years. No hanky panky makes a sane girl sad. I had garnered interest in other individuals, and besides my living situation sucked and I hated that I was relied upon for responsibilities that were not to be mine. It was a sad break up, but once it was done I felt like I was recapturing the happy version of me.
I lived at my dad's place for a month or so. This was a good time because I got to reconnect to my father, who walked out on my mom in '03. Yay for role models. This move prompted me to get my ass back on Light Rail. Score one for acquiring pretend boyfriends and endless entertainment. However, this marks the downturn in fortune. As I began relations with my bike messenger, I left my car at the station overnight and my window was smashed. They didn't take anything, but this did remind me that I have nothing of serious worth to take. And the fuckers smashed my Fleetwood Mac tape. Yeah, the car has a tape deck. I had to pay for a new window, I cut my hand on the glass, and we had a random storm that left a puddle in my car.
Adrian. Or better spelled: A drain. A drain on my morals. A drain on my finances. A drain on my self worth. A drain on my life. Also the love of my life. As you can tell, is where I lost my control of my life. Love is blind and this fucker tied the bandana over my eyes. True, I thought he was gorgeous, smart, sexy, great libido, and mostly a friend. We had something together that was amazing. I felt giddy and lovely at first. Then I moved downtown in February. This is when my first apartment was taken hostage by his low-life friends and random ass coke dealers.
The slummers slept over, spilled food on my furniture and my floor, kept me up with their loud ass conversations, ate my food, stole my phone, stole my bob supply once, and generally pissed off my new neighbors by hopping the fence and looking like felons. Actually, two were felons. A-drain struggled with alcohol abuse before, but my new apartment gave him free reign to act as an idiot and drink copious amounts of booze and shop up at my place when he was done squandering his money on dive bars. Hooray. He started hitting me in May. I cannot describe the months between February and May because the shit was the same every day. Work, come home to the apartment filled with assholes, try to protect my food suply, get yelled at for trying to protect my shit, cry, drink, fuck, go to sleep. Well, I din't drink every day but it helped with my situation.
The abuse was the worst part of '09. There were 4 or 5 incidents where A-drain would 'black out' and hit me, push me, scream at me, throw me to the ground, or tell me about girls he thought were attractive. He also told me he would always want to be with black girls more than a white chick. Fucker. This all culminated with the big fight in June. This one ended with me in the hospital and him in jail. After inviting strangers into my home to eat my food, I flipped out and told A-drain they had to leave because they were not invited nor welcome in my home. As I attempted to call the police he grabbed my phone and snapped it in half. I turned red and began Lisa Simpson-style hitting him (swirling your arms in a circular motion to inflict multiple slaps) and his buddies saw this and booked. He took off and I locked the door. He returned some time later and entered, took his shit, and tried to leave. I blocked the door and demanded an apology and money for my broken phone. He grabbed me and threw me to the gound, causing me to smack my head on the floor. The bump was huge an visible through my hair. The next moments were a blur. Security, police, paramedics, hospital, police again, and the call I had to make to my dad at 4am telling him that my boyfriend had been beating me. Shitty. My Uncle Bob died two days later. We were close. Because I was still in recovery, I was able to be by his side as he took his last breath. It was an honor to be the one holding him as he left his body.
By my birthday A-drain and I were seeing each other. He quit drinking and left his circle of friends. Turns out although many aspects of his flaws were solved with these changes, he still was an asshole at heart. He had saved my name as "Crazy Bitch" in his phone, he texted black chicks all the time, and still asked me to buy him food and cater to his needs. Fuck that. We ain't together any more. I'd rather be alone than with someone like him. I still yearn for his company, but I remind myself that I am a great person who will find someone else who will actually love me back.
September, October, November I worked. I rode my bike around town and added a few men to my list of pretend boyfriends. Sylvia visited me more to monitor my progress from escaping an abusive relationship and to get me to laugh again.
This year has placed the darkest clouds in my mind that I haven't seen since my boyfriend killed himself in high school.
FML. Hurry the fuck up, 2010. When those bells ring, let me be in an amazing place with hot naked men and champagne to envy Diddy. A girl can dream when life is a nightmare.....
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Craigslist
One of the favorite websites that I visit is the infaous Craigslist. A wealth or strangers, dangers, and sales, I peruse the bikes, pets, apartments, missed connections, you name it. Being a recovering girlfriend, I look for what kind of guy is left out there that I haven't met. I mean, my options should be open based on what I settled for last time. However, all the men for women ads I viewed were filled with tools and losers. I may not have luck on that site, but I did think of fun things to narrow my search for the 'perfect' mate (side note: does not exist.)
1. Cannot wear football jerseys.
2. Must not pick nose in public.
3. Can handle alcohol to the point that no one ever can tell when you are actually drunk.
4. Can spell decently enough not to drive me crazy.
5. Must love Mom.
6. Offers to buy food, especially if he eats a lot.
7. Does not have crazy skank notches on his belt.
8. Not a former criminal.
9. His friends must be reasonably attractive and driven. Your friends make you.
10. The kind that surprises me at work.
11. No bad breath. Sorry, mine smells good.
12. Can't smokey the ciggs routinely- I quit!!!
13. Must look good naked.
14. Does not avoid locations because he has an ex there, got kicked out, etc.
15. Is nice to anyone with a service job.
16. Stands up for me when I get scared.
17. Laughs all the time.
18. Preferably does not owe big debts.
19. Does not obsess with looks.
20. Likes being barefoot with nice feet.
21. Mild criminal record ok, as long as no one was hurt.
22. My dad must like him. Hasn't happened yet!
23. Responsible enough to have his name attachd to a car, or a rental, something.
24. Interested in improving his life.
25. Eats healthy.
1. Cannot wear football jerseys.
2. Must not pick nose in public.
3. Can handle alcohol to the point that no one ever can tell when you are actually drunk.
4. Can spell decently enough not to drive me crazy.
5. Must love Mom.
6. Offers to buy food, especially if he eats a lot.
7. Does not have crazy skank notches on his belt.
8. Not a former criminal.
9. His friends must be reasonably attractive and driven. Your friends make you.
10. The kind that surprises me at work.
11. No bad breath. Sorry, mine smells good.
12. Can't smokey the ciggs routinely- I quit!!!
13. Must look good naked.
14. Does not avoid locations because he has an ex there, got kicked out, etc.
15. Is nice to anyone with a service job.
16. Stands up for me when I get scared.
17. Laughs all the time.
18. Preferably does not owe big debts.
19. Does not obsess with looks.
20. Likes being barefoot with nice feet.
21. Mild criminal record ok, as long as no one was hurt.
22. My dad must like him. Hasn't happened yet!
23. Responsible enough to have his name attachd to a car, or a rental, something.
24. Interested in improving his life.
25. Eats healthy.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Bad Ginger.
Just wanted to tell you Irishmen and women that should you be of the ginger variety-green is terrible on you. You earn negative points creeping people out with your transparent skin and unholy hair anyway. Green accentuates these features and you need to tone it down.
Hey, I am Irish too. At least part. But even as a child, seeing these combinations was never enjoyable.
However, you fair-skinned mavens look unbelievable in white and other more angelic and softer colors. Expand your color palate and learn where not to go. I will not be wearing capris or high-waisted tees, so we are even.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wine for Me
It was an ordinary evening for me. I rode my bike to Blockbuster to pick up some movies to pass time, rolled through K Street to check out what was going on in the streets, and seeing nothing in particular, I decided to stop by Safeway for some dinner and perhaps some wine. Now, I am not a fan of strolling through the three aisles of fancy ass wine and trying to pick out a winner without getting something that tastes like batteries or MD 20/20. I spied this bottle and so many images and thoughts flooded my brain I somewhat destined this bottle to be my own favorite. Move over, Franzia.
Why should I like this Sauv Blanc? Pinot Noir is my favorite type of wine to drink, anyway. It was the Louis Mel. Even the way they scripted the name onto the bottle. Not only does it say Mel on the bottle, but Louis would have been my middle name should the man added an e at the end of his name. I love the cursive L and M. The color is enticing. Drinking it was ok, but since I have quit smoking and think I could appreciate the complexity a bit more the next round.
Next issue: getting the money to find a few bottles for my solos. Countdown to the 15th resuming....
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Agoraphobia
Agoraphobia is a very complex phobia. It usually manifests as a collection of inter-linked phobias. For example, many agoraphobics fear being left alone (monophobia), dislike being in any situation where they feel trapped (exhibiting claustrophobia type tendencies), and fear travel away from their "safe" place, usually home.
I seem to think I may have the unusual fear as defined above. My family has been bringing my absence to my attention more and more, and I just can't explain. That is, until I realized that all I want to do is stay in my apartment and have people leave me alone. Now, I do go out at everey chance if I can walk of ride my bike there. When someone mentions a car ride that I have to take, I just lose the interest. In recollection I think this is a symptom of recovery for abuse victims. I never pursued any therapy after the incident, instead relying on friends and family to be there as I opened up about what went on with Adrian. After I went back to him and he still remained incompetent and evil, the recovery process appears to have taken a step to the side instead of forward. I can't see my mom or my dad or my friends because there is so much comfort in my apartment now that the evil has amicably left. I feel like that girl in the picture.
Luckily, I have my Sylvia who will be visiting me on Sunday with a shampoo kit I ordered. I hope to get her on the bike again!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
General Melismo
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? The Lucifer Effect by Philip Zombardo
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 1:50pm
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My hand and a dirty mouse
FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Risk
FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Old style Rolling Stone
FAVORITE SMELL? Honeysuckle
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Loss
FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? What time is it?
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Two.
FAVORITE COLOUR? Blue
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? Peace
FAVORITE FOOD! Taco Bell, baby.
IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? If it ain't my car.
SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? I did before I got a cat and he ate it.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1989 Dodge Raider. Tin box on wheels.
WHO IS THE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My pretend boyfriends
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Vodka and juice
WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR? Scarves, shoes, repair kit...
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Freelance Consultant to the Governor of Hawai'i
EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Unfortunately, cause now I'm still single...
FAVOURITE MOVIE? Stand By Me
COMEDY OR HORROR? Both. Match my mood.
FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Torso or ass.
THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? I imagined buying Lady Gaga
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? Back or feet.
WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Mind
WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6am usually
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? Cupcake molds.
WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Disrespect
WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? Sports car for efficiency.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Somewhat.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Spring. It even sounds happy.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Flying
DO YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? I have 3, and they are sun, moon, star, waves in black.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? Saturday
WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? A good hamburger that isn't huge.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SOAP? Irish Spring
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? Spaghetti with meatballs
IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD,WHERE WOULD IT BE? I would go back to Croatia and live there.
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Melissa Sue Anderson/Allman Bros. Sweet Melissa.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHY? Movies are my only pain these days...
YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's awesome.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Bologna.
DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Momma didn't raise no fool...wait, there is my brother...
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hell yeah. I'm pretty nice and at least I would understand why im so weird.
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes.
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No way, I hate heights.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Quaker Oat Squares
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No. I prefer sandals so its their fault for having laces.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Freakishly.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Rocky Road, but I just don't prefer a flavor.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ? Demeanor.
RED OR PINK? Red.
WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Sylvia Coey
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I am wearing black long johns and a grey sweater dress. My pants look like leggings but are sooo much more comfortable.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ? Jalapeno pizza
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Click click click of the keyboards.
IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Sienna
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Southwest Airlines
FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football. Ech I felt gross saying it.
HAIR COLOR? Blondo Browno
EYE COLOR? Robert told me black.
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Do not like to. I wear glasses when chosen.
FAVORITE FOOD? Chinese or Mexican
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Just make it worth my time, ok?
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Big Lebowski
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? I said dress.
FAVORITE DESSERT? Creme Brulee
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Assembly Water Legislation Session
FAVORITE SOUND? Water
WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Auckland, New Zeland
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Fucking hella fast on bikes.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Livermore, California at Valley Hospital
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY : Mel, Lizzie, Mesudy
SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: Liz04, MrSPfan, Surfermel
PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: Hair, eyes, abs
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I like me.
PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: Black Irish, Scottish, Danish
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: Spiders, heights, pregnancy
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Water, Bike ride, and Bob
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: CK Dress, longjohns, and ballet flats.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: Counting Crows, Duffy, Tom Petty
THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: Honesty, humor, love.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: I have died before, I have a twin, and I love morphine (allergic).
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Biking, reading, swimming
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: Sleep, stretch, #2.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED: Who cares- I got my cool job now!
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL (or guy): I fuss, I can cook, and nothing makes me more crazy than glitter.
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 1:50pm
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My hand and a dirty mouse
FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Risk
FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Old style Rolling Stone
FAVORITE SMELL? Honeysuckle
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Loss
FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? What time is it?
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Two.
FAVORITE COLOUR? Blue
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? Peace
FAVORITE FOOD! Taco Bell, baby.
IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? If it ain't my car.
SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? I did before I got a cat and he ate it.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1989 Dodge Raider. Tin box on wheels.
WHO IS THE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My pretend boyfriends
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Vodka and juice
WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR? Scarves, shoes, repair kit...
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Freelance Consultant to the Governor of Hawai'i
EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Unfortunately, cause now I'm still single...
FAVOURITE MOVIE? Stand By Me
COMEDY OR HORROR? Both. Match my mood.
FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Torso or ass.
THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? I imagined buying Lady Gaga
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? Back or feet.
WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Mind
WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6am usually
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? Cupcake molds.
WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Disrespect
WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? Sports car for efficiency.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Somewhat.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Spring. It even sounds happy.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Flying
DO YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? I have 3, and they are sun, moon, star, waves in black.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? Saturday
WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? A good hamburger that isn't huge.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SOAP? Irish Spring
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? Spaghetti with meatballs
IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD,WHERE WOULD IT BE? I would go back to Croatia and live there.
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Melissa Sue Anderson/Allman Bros. Sweet Melissa.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHY? Movies are my only pain these days...
YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's awesome.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Bologna.
DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Momma didn't raise no fool...wait, there is my brother...
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hell yeah. I'm pretty nice and at least I would understand why im so weird.
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes.
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No way, I hate heights.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Quaker Oat Squares
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No. I prefer sandals so its their fault for having laces.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Freakishly.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Rocky Road, but I just don't prefer a flavor.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ? Demeanor.
RED OR PINK? Red.
WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Sylvia Coey
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I am wearing black long johns and a grey sweater dress. My pants look like leggings but are sooo much more comfortable.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ? Jalapeno pizza
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Click click click of the keyboards.
IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Sienna
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Southwest Airlines
FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football. Ech I felt gross saying it.
HAIR COLOR? Blondo Browno
EYE COLOR? Robert told me black.
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Do not like to. I wear glasses when chosen.
FAVORITE FOOD? Chinese or Mexican
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Just make it worth my time, ok?
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Big Lebowski
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? I said dress.
FAVORITE DESSERT? Creme Brulee
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Assembly Water Legislation Session
FAVORITE SOUND? Water
WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Auckland, New Zeland
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Fucking hella fast on bikes.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Livermore, California at Valley Hospital
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY : Mel, Lizzie, Mesudy
SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: Liz04, MrSPfan, Surfermel
PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: Hair, eyes, abs
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I like me.
PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: Black Irish, Scottish, Danish
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: Spiders, heights, pregnancy
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Water, Bike ride, and Bob
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: CK Dress, longjohns, and ballet flats.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: Counting Crows, Duffy, Tom Petty
THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: Honesty, humor, love.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: I have died before, I have a twin, and I love morphine (allergic).
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Biking, reading, swimming
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: Sleep, stretch, #2.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED: Who cares- I got my cool job now!
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL (or guy): I fuss, I can cook, and nothing makes me more crazy than glitter.
Christmas Wish List
Nicer, smarter (minus mustache) bipedalist:
Look at this essential- a girlie Chrome bag. ^
I want my new cat to go on a ride, but looks like its only offered on the Rainbow Bridge.
As always, I want more ninja skills to conquer the streets...
And finally, a single speed with brakes to enhance ninja transportation. Current road bike is bright yellow, ya know.
Look at this essential- a girlie Chrome bag. ^
I want my new cat to go on a ride, but looks like its only offered on the Rainbow Bridge.
As always, I want more ninja skills to conquer the streets...
And finally, a single speed with brakes to enhance ninja transportation. Current road bike is bright yellow, ya know.
Tuxedos Noir
Meet Reggie. He is a year old and hides a secret skill. He kills.I didn't think that a tuxedo would be much different from any other cat. My last beast, Rocket, died a few winters ago and I did not have any driveto go out and find a new cat anytime soon. However, I met Reggie on Craigslist from a girl named Reggie. He's so pretty and fluffy and sweet, but when the sun sets this little adorabeast turns into a caffeine-driven maniac who has a fetish for blind adjustors and movable heavy objects to potentially use as weapons. I'm not even going to discuss the fact that my phone was missing this morning.
Reggie greets me as I get out of the shower by treating my toes like fire roasted hot dogs. He dives and chomps and walks on my chest to get across the bed. I can't sleep with my hand out of the blankets because he uses his tiny inscissors to dig deep into my skin, causing me to swat the angelic devil.
To wind him down I found the brilliant laser pointer for $3.00 at WalMart. A few laps and not only can I trick him to shut the cabinets, but he pants like a fat kid and that is hilarious.
He still is better than my useless asshole of an ex.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
LOLz at the Office
The trickery and hilarity involved in this veto message must run so deep that Press Secretary McLear had no clue or is now proven as a habitual liar when questioned about the "coincidence"Bay Bridge, Why So Silent?
A vision that should inspire the state in so many ways. I would love to take a ride along the bridge without traffic. This is just a dream as the likelyhood that the bridge will kill me has increased thanks to shoddy craftmanship. There are two notches on this steel beast, and adventure has entered the lives of thousands of commuters as they embark on they joy many call public transit. The last time I rode the SF bus, though, my buddy had random junk rubbed into her face for 10 minutes before walking gained popularity. I do love BART though, and platform-level entries are such a huge step up (haha) from SacRT trains. They both share fun things like proposing bums and lethargic juvenile delinquents. Bring an umbrella, there could be rain or a mugging, and you'll need the expandable protection for both.
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