Craigslist

One of the favorite websites that I visit is the infaous Craigslist. A wealth or strangers, dangers, and sales, I peruse the bikes, pets, apartments, missed connections, you name it. Being a recovering girlfriend, I look for what kind of guy is left out there that I haven't met. I mean, my options should be open based on what I settled for last time. However, all the men for women ads I viewed were filled with tools and losers. I may not have luck on that site, but I did think of fun things to narrow my search for the 'perfect' mate (side note: does not exist.)

1. Cannot wear football jerseys.
2. Must not pick nose in public.
3. Can handle alcohol to the point that no one ever can tell when you are actually drunk.
4. Can spell decently enough not to drive me crazy.
5. Must love Mom.
6. Offers to buy food, especially if he eats a lot.
7. Does not have crazy skank notches on his belt.
8. Not a former criminal.
9. His friends must be reasonably attractive and driven. Your friends make you.
10. The kind that surprises me at work.
11. No bad breath. Sorry, mine smells good.
12. Can't smokey the ciggs routinely- I quit!!!
13. Must look good naked.
14. Does not avoid locations because he has an ex there, got kicked out, etc.
15. Is nice to anyone with a service job.
16. Stands up for me when I get scared.
17. Laughs all the time.
18. Preferably does not owe big debts.
19. Does not obsess with looks.
20. Likes being barefoot with nice feet.
21. Mild criminal record ok, as long as no one was hurt.
22. My dad must like him. Hasn't happened yet!
23. Responsible enough to have his name attachd to a car, or a rental, something.
24. Interested in improving his life.
25. Eats healthy.

Funny Cats ond Others

Bad Ginger.

Just wanted to tell you Irishmen and women that should you be of the ginger variety-green is terrible on you. You earn negative points creeping people out with your transparent skin and unholy hair anyway. Green accentuates these features and you need to tone it down.

Hey, I am Irish too. At least part. But even as a child, seeing these combinations was never enjoyable.

However, you fair-skinned mavens look unbelievable in white and other more angelic and softer colors. Expand your color palate and learn where not to go. I will not be wearing capris or high-waisted tees, so we are even.

Wine for Me

It was an ordinary evening for me. I rode my bike to Blockbuster to pick up some movies to pass time, rolled through K Street to check out what was going on in the streets, and seeing nothing in particular, I decided to stop by Safeway for some dinner and perhaps some wine. Now, I am not a fan of strolling through the three aisles of fancy ass wine and trying to pick out a winner without getting something that tastes like batteries or MD 20/20. I spied this bottle and so many images and thoughts flooded my brain I somewhat destined this bottle to be my own favorite. Move over, Franzia.

Why should I like this Sauv Blanc? Pinot Noir is my favorite type of wine to drink, anyway. It was the Louis Mel. Even the way they scripted the name onto the bottle. Not only does it say Mel on the bottle, but Louis would have been my middle name should the man added an e at the end of his name. I love the cursive L and M. The color is enticing. Drinking it was ok, but since I have quit smoking and think I could appreciate the complexity a bit more the next round.

Next issue: getting the money to find a few bottles for my solos. Countdown to the 15th resuming....

Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia is a very complex phobia. It usually manifests as a collection of inter-linked phobias. For example, many agoraphobics fear being left alone (monophobia), dislike being in any situation where they feel trapped (exhibiting claustrophobia type tendencies), and fear travel away from their "safe" place, usually home.

I seem to think I may have the unusual fear as defined above. My family has been bringing my absence to my attention more and more, and I just can't explain. That is, until I realized that all I want to do is stay in my apartment and have people leave me alone. Now, I do go out at everey chance if I can walk of ride my bike there. When someone mentions a car ride that I have to take, I just lose the interest. In recollection I think this is a symptom of recovery for abuse victims. I never pursued any therapy after the incident, instead relying on friends and family to be there as I opened up about what went on with Adrian. After I went back to him and he still remained incompetent and evil, the recovery process appears to have taken a step to the side instead of forward. I can't see my mom or my dad or my friends because there is so much comfort in my apartment now that the evil has amicably left. I feel like that girl in the picture.

Luckily, I have my Sylvia who will be visiting me on Sunday with a shampoo kit I ordered. I hope to get her on the bike again!

General Melismo

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? The Lucifer Effect by Philip Zombardo
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 1:50pm
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My hand and a dirty mouse
FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Risk
FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Old style Rolling Stone
FAVORITE SMELL? Honeysuckle
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Loss
FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? What time is it?
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Two.
FAVORITE COLOUR? Blue
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? Peace
FAVORITE FOOD! Taco Bell, baby.
IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? If it ain't my car.
SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? I did before I got a cat and he ate it.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1989 Dodge Raider. Tin box on wheels.
WHO IS THE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My pretend boyfriends
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Vodka and juice
WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR? Scarves, shoes, repair kit...
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Freelance Consultant to the Governor of Hawai'i
EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Unfortunately, cause now I'm still single...
FAVOURITE MOVIE? Stand By Me
COMEDY OR HORROR? Both. Match my mood.
FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Torso or ass.
THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? I imagined buying Lady Gaga
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? Back or feet.
WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Mind
WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6am usually
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? Cupcake molds.
WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Disrespect
WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? Sports car for efficiency.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Somewhat.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Spring. It even sounds happy.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Flying
DO YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? I have 3, and they are sun, moon, star, waves in black.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? Saturday
WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? A good hamburger that isn't huge.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SOAP? Irish Spring
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? Spaghetti with meatballs
IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD,WHERE WOULD IT BE? I would go back to Croatia and live there.
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Melissa Sue Anderson/Allman Bros. Sweet Melissa.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHY? Movies are my only pain these days...
YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's awesome.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Bologna.
DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Momma didn't raise no fool...wait, there is my brother...
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hell yeah. I'm pretty nice and at least I would understand why im so weird.
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes.
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No way, I hate heights.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Quaker Oat Squares
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No. I prefer sandals so its their fault for having laces.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Freakishly.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Rocky Road, but I just don't prefer a flavor.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ? Demeanor.
RED OR PINK? Red.
WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Sylvia Coey
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I am wearing black long johns and a grey sweater dress. My pants look like leggings but are sooo much more comfortable.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ? Jalapeno pizza
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Click click click of the keyboards.
IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Sienna
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Southwest Airlines
FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football. Ech I felt gross saying it.
HAIR COLOR? Blondo Browno
EYE COLOR? Robert told me black.
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Do not like to. I wear glasses when chosen.
FAVORITE FOOD? Chinese or Mexican
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Just make it worth my time, ok?
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Big Lebowski
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? I said dress.
FAVORITE DESSERT? Creme Brulee
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Assembly Water Legislation Session
FAVORITE SOUND? Water
WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Auckland, New Zeland
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Fucking hella fast on bikes.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Livermore, California at Valley Hospital

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY : Mel, Lizzie, Mesudy
SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: Liz04, MrSPfan, Surfermel
PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: Hair, eyes, abs
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I like me.
PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: Black Irish, Scottish, Danish
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: Spiders, heights, pregnancy
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Water, Bike ride, and Bob
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: CK Dress, longjohns, and ballet flats.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: Counting Crows, Duffy, Tom Petty
THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: Honesty, humor, love.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: I have died before, I have a twin, and I love morphine (allergic).
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Biking, reading, swimming
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: Sleep, stretch, #2.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED: Who cares- I got my cool job now!
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL (or guy): I fuss, I can cook, and nothing makes me more crazy than glitter.

Christmas Wish List

Nicer, smarter (minus mustache) bipedalist:

Look at this essential- a girlie Chrome bag. ^

I want my new cat to go on a ride, but looks like its only offered on the Rainbow Bridge.

As always, I want more ninja skills to conquer the streets...

And finally, a single speed with brakes to enhance ninja transportation. Current road bike is bright yellow, ya know.

Tuxedos Noir

Meet Reggie. He is a year old and hides a secret skill. He kills.

I didn't think that a tuxedo would be much different from any other cat. My last beast, Rocket, died a few winters ago and I did not have any driveto go out and find a new cat anytime soon. However, I met Reggie on Craigslist from a girl named Reggie. He's so pretty and fluffy and sweet, but when the sun sets this little adorabeast turns into a caffeine-driven maniac who has a fetish for blind adjustors and movable heavy objects to potentially use as weapons. I'm not even going to discuss the fact that my phone was missing this morning.

Reggie greets me as I get out of the shower by treating my toes like fire roasted hot dogs. He dives and chomps and walks on my chest to get across the bed. I can't sleep with my hand out of the blankets because he uses his tiny inscissors to dig deep into my skin, causing me to swat the angelic devil.

To wind him down I found the brilliant laser pointer for $3.00 at WalMart. A few laps and not only can I trick him to shut the cabinets, but he pants like a fat kid and that is hilarious.

He still is better than my useless asshole of an ex.