Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia is a very complex phobia. It usually manifests as a collection of inter-linked phobias. For example, many agoraphobics fear being left alone (monophobia), dislike being in any situation where they feel trapped (exhibiting claustrophobia type tendencies), and fear travel away from their "safe" place, usually home.

I seem to think I may have the unusual fear as defined above. My family has been bringing my absence to my attention more and more, and I just can't explain. That is, until I realized that all I want to do is stay in my apartment and have people leave me alone. Now, I do go out at everey chance if I can walk of ride my bike there. When someone mentions a car ride that I have to take, I just lose the interest. In recollection I think this is a symptom of recovery for abuse victims. I never pursued any therapy after the incident, instead relying on friends and family to be there as I opened up about what went on with Adrian. After I went back to him and he still remained incompetent and evil, the recovery process appears to have taken a step to the side instead of forward. I can't see my mom or my dad or my friends because there is so much comfort in my apartment now that the evil has amicably left. I feel like that girl in the picture.

Luckily, I have my Sylvia who will be visiting me on Sunday with a shampoo kit I ordered. I hope to get her on the bike again!