The City by the Bay

Hellllo San Francisco! My trip there on Sunday was epic- as one should expect when descending upon the city with 4 homegirls lookin to get drunk and cause problems. The traffic there was a nightmarish 4 hours of red lights- but the city had its Chinese New Year parade on Market- which was right next to our hotel. We made fun of shitty bikers on the streets (seriously, its not that SF is that unsafe- its riders are just idiots who wobble to and fro on their uncomfortable hipster bikes) and hollered at cars that cut us off. After narrowly evading two police officers blocking the street to our hotel, we were THERE. We first went to our hotel room, number 420, and got dressed for dinner at the swanky place in the hotel. As we walked in, the bar stopped and one guy said to us, "Now there's a motley crew". Turns out he had ESP.

I can't get into complete details, but birthday girl Melissa was literally carried out of the bar after telling off a bartender, butting between couples to dance with men, and dancing without care. She screamed rape as she was kicked out and proceeded to yell at the manager for 20 minutes about how her uncle is the DA for San Diego (actually a woman) and that her arm was broken by "Tonga Tonga" bouncers. In all fairness, she thought they were kidnapping her to roast her when they kicked her out.

I got mad at some guy Janet was dancing with, so I left and kicked it by myself for an hour watching people dance and roaming about. At that time, it is estimated that every girl in our group was on her own. In the City. I went outside to hang with Bob (and the two bums and random guy I hung out with) went back in, danced with Janet, fell in love with a stranger, left hot stranger with Janet to track down the girls, and as we retreated from a random bus stop, we heard our names from afar and the other 3 girls were in their nice dresses kicking it on the curb, surrounded by Asian men.

Lets see....Melissa was giving a guy a hickey because he had a girlfriend, Rachel was smoking and singing rap songs, Hadasa was speaking in Chinese to the guys, and I sat my ass down because it was 3 in the morning and we couldn't get a cab because we were also next to an ambulance. I walked right up to it and through what I believe was an accident scene. I was drunk- I had no limits.

The next morning I awoke on the floor of the hotel. I was too drunk to try and move my girls who were already two to a bed. I had taken a shower so I was the last alive and the floor works for me. I had Bob and ate cereal at the continental breakfast before walking SF under blue skies. Hit up Union Square and Chinatown and returned to wake up two girls who chose to sleep.

So many side stories about hotboxing cabs and screaming and doing bad things in elevators- but I think I am locking those away for now....

2010- still better than last year.