Argh.

Asm. Cook called me up to yell at me today, which caused me to crack and start crying. I don't cry much at all anymore, so when the gates opened-I was fucked.
Thanks Red Eyes. Now nobody will take me seriously. The office was sympathetic and the cheif of staff clamed me down, and then told me to grow a pair in a very nice way.


Oh, and fuck off, Cook.

Hire me and I might save the world.

Hey BP and Feds:

I noticed you responding to the oil disaster by placing dirty oil-soaked sand into plastic bags. On the cover of USA Today, the picture panned the length of a beach and all I could see were the ENVIRONMENTALLY DISASTEROUS plastic bags holding all of the icky sand. Listen, dumbfucks, so you can't stop the oil. OK. But STOP pouring chemicals into the gulf to break up the oil that is proven to sicken anyone in a 50-mile radius. STOP putting the oil in plastic bags.

Obama-quit being lax and step up and force BP to change the chemical dispersants like right the fuck now. Put the fucking sand in wheelbarrows and then into a larger container which can fill the sandboxes of BP exec's children so they can understand the scope of what they did. Get to the site and plug the effing hole. How about shooting some steel into that hole? That shit is strong, even under 5,000 feet. Hello, submarines? Why aren't they there? Where the fuck is the Navy? Those dolphins could be rescued and trained to dismantle underwater bombs. The Navy does this now.

Also, why was the off-shore drilling regulator's office in Colorado? Is that to protect them from the inevitable?? Hope that doesn't mean emminent threat to our beautiful California. I kILL you if you touch our beaches, beotches.

A Life, A Chapter.

The title looks like two people's names.

Its rounding up to almost a year since my deadly encounter with love, or what I think it is. More like thought. In times like these I find it essential to look back and compare one life to another. This year I am single. So much fun on the weekends, a tad (majorly) lonely in the evenings when I wish I could talk to a hot naked man in my bed. I still have a job, I now have a cat, and I also gained another bike :)
My sanity seems to be cresting right near the middle. I seriously lost it this time last year. People who turned away from me because of his outrageous abuse towards me came back forward and reaffirmed their love for me. Sylvia damn near moved to Sac. Nobody hits her baby!
What has changed the most is inside. I was able to rip myself open (he did, actually) and expose my flaws and weaknesses and see them from a multitude of perspectives after months of recovery. The disturbing experiences I endured will never leave my thoughts. There are things he made me go through that I can never tell a soul. Sometimes when Im drunk I want to tell Syl, but the pain associated with it is so severe and numbing that I don't want others to have to know what the fuck I went through. When you've already talked about the choking, the punching, the nights with a knife in my face, sometimes the most horrific things are best left to be buried.

I am better, and I no longer have room in my life for monsters. Sometimes at night, when Im sitting on my patio enjoying the trees swaying in the breeze, I hope he dies a terrible death. This bitch won't forget.

Seriously?

How much is this person/team paid to create these mascots for London's Olympics? They look like crazy rainbow penises. Really, a one-eyed monster??

Bring back things like Koalas or some species on the endangered list! Quit making the world look stupid.

May Half Over

I definately needed to recover after a great weekend that revolved around bikes! Saturday was a standard ride to my dad's except I found the most amazing park called Santa Anita park between Bell and Fulton. Bonus-when you pop out onto Fulton, its next to the abandoned (joy!) Hummer dealership, so I had an awesome time just riding and swerving on all that empty pavement. I smoked too much at my dad's so I laid in the sun for far too long and now I am kinda sure my shoulders will be blistering. The rest faded to a pretty tan. Me likey.

Sunday I spent at the race at Capitol. Mike and I had a great break in the park from stuffing our faces with free carne asada tacos and wine. We caught the end of the race and meandered around the streets but ended up heading to homegirl Sarah's for some late night chili and beer session with her new man Jake and his roommate.

I shoulda been to two places last night but I came home after a tough day and crashed. I slept from 7pm until midnight, and then again from 1am to this morning. If I had to call myself an addict, it would be towards sleep.

Next weekend...BOWS AND ARROWS GARAGE SALE!! HELLS YES and I've been telling every girlfriend with my fashion to show up at my apartment at 8am for some sick ass clothes from 1-3 bucks. Half my wardrobe is from this store!

Strange Days of May

I have noticed in the past few days the strangest of occurances. It could be this crazy wind (hello, witch mountain) or the restlessness of too many rainy days for the finicky Californians. Yesterday was a smashup of strange events. Leaving work soon after 5pm, as I left the office and walked into the hall, the loudest Christian rock music blared from what must be the loudest amps to ever bestow Capitol grounds. The open-air staircase did not help to escape the wasted energy. I fumbled in my bag and slammed those iPods into my ears to drown out the hypocritical nonsense with some fucking Lady Gaga. I pulled my bike out of the compound and hoped for the best on my ride because my pedals had been sticking for a few days but I had lubed the chainring and cranks before I went to work.
You know those times when you have some sweet jams going and you got the wheels turning and you are just hitting your stride on the bike? I was right there when I felt my devil's tail whip up and slap me across my ass and back. WTF?? Thinking my secret identity was pulled out of my body in the presence of such a heavy religious right protest, I tried to pull over olong Capitol park but alas my tires were unable to move! My chain had snapped off and was now jammed between my rims and my brakes.

A short jaunt to Mike's Bikes and one "Are you fucking stupid??" look from a bike mechanic when he asked me what gear the bike was in and I responded "Single". I was serious, dick. Actually I said, "I know you are looking at me like i'm a fucking dumbass but I didn't initially put the chain on and the bike went pretty fast but not professionally fast. Sorry."

I met up with my friends and we had a few beers and then went back to my place. One of the girls kept drinking with me and crashed at my spot. Shitty thing because she crashed out on my bed and because I moved my couch into a smaller room I can no longer pull the bed out the whole way. I was forced to balance the half-opened sofa couch and balance my ass without a pillow or a blanket. I was cold and paranoid the whole night.

I am excited to go home to Modesto tonight so I may sleep in peace and get outta Weirdsville.

What a Drag

My co-worker was so mean with the way she spoke to me today, it made me lose all interest in ever working again. Yeah bitch, I called you out on not getting to work until 10am every day, but guess what-you're guilty. I'm tired as fuck of being the only one here, and when my boss asks me if I'm going to committee and Im swamped because nobody was in the office and I had 5 tasks to complete, I'm going to tell him I had to wait for people to get there.

To make it worse, she has the mindset and the nerve to tell me that I didn't have her back.

I would if you had mine, sour puss.

Ted, maybe we will work at WalMart together, but you'd still be paid more than me.