A Life, A Chapter.

The title looks like two people's names.

Its rounding up to almost a year since my deadly encounter with love, or what I think it is. More like thought. In times like these I find it essential to look back and compare one life to another. This year I am single. So much fun on the weekends, a tad (majorly) lonely in the evenings when I wish I could talk to a hot naked man in my bed. I still have a job, I now have a cat, and I also gained another bike :)
My sanity seems to be cresting right near the middle. I seriously lost it this time last year. People who turned away from me because of his outrageous abuse towards me came back forward and reaffirmed their love for me. Sylvia damn near moved to Sac. Nobody hits her baby!
What has changed the most is inside. I was able to rip myself open (he did, actually) and expose my flaws and weaknesses and see them from a multitude of perspectives after months of recovery. The disturbing experiences I endured will never leave my thoughts. There are things he made me go through that I can never tell a soul. Sometimes when Im drunk I want to tell Syl, but the pain associated with it is so severe and numbing that I don't want others to have to know what the fuck I went through. When you've already talked about the choking, the punching, the nights with a knife in my face, sometimes the most horrific things are best left to be buried.

I am better, and I no longer have room in my life for monsters. Sometimes at night, when Im sitting on my patio enjoying the trees swaying in the breeze, I hope he dies a terrible death. This bitch won't forget.