Your dudes suck. Did you bottle-feed them so they all would be addicted to whiskey like crack? What did you put in the water that makes them lazy and liars? Did you secretly arrange a list of eligible ladies that are doled out upon any hot & eligible bachelor's arrival so that any possible hottie has that iron band around him like a fucking chastity belt(FYI-'CAUSE I RESPECT IT!)?
Oh, you ho. I hate dating. Date one went quite well before shit crashed and burned as the little personal gems seeped out during date two.
Attention Datable Men: Stories about how bars stopped "loving you" or how biker chicks are on your nuts and buying you drinks or that you spend about 4 hours a day at some shitty bar even I haven't visited aren't exactly the lines a lady needs to be wooed. Plus, you shouldn't be there if you lost your house, tool.
I should commend you for keeping it real, though. No need for months of frustrating calls and yearning for the sweet, sweet nectar of singlehood.
Who Dis Be
- Melly Sue
- With a heart of glass and stone, most approach with caution and speak with abandon. I prefer adventure to structure, except when there is a salary involved. And it's true, I do go faster without cupcakes.
No comments:
Post a Comment