Choo Choo

Josh and Crystal's wedding was such a blast. Getting to Davis and seeing some SN&R staffers that I hadn't seen since I hosted a party last year after the Summer concert. I laughed so much and really appreciated being a guest at such an awesome wedding. My first time in Davis revealed that the citizens of what I thought was a college town have serious issues with colorful language. Outside. At a bar. Thanks mom, but my mom calls me a bitch so my words are not of your concern. My parents taught me to enjoy variety and to be creative. So in the most expressive sense, fuck off.

This may be the first wedding I didn't dance at, but by not knowing a majority of the guests, my humor in the art of movement may not have been received as well as it usually is. The Hipster and The Elaine were far too much. I took tons of pictures before I was hit by a freight train twice and broke my camera. True story.

Almost Wa Wa Wa Weekend Time!

Wet Dream

Seriously, I am talking to this guy about getting this bike. If anyone gots a car- take me to EDH to pick this Apache goddess up!!

When work hits home

I have been receiving hundreds of calls on SB 399, a measure that would allow juveniles convicted to life in prison to have their sentences reviewed if the inmate shows promising results from rehabilitation. I just received a call that I knew was a 209-local number. When I asked the city and name, it was the sister of a kid that was recently murdered just down the street from the house I grew up in at a gas station that was a Saturday night pit stop. Totally freaky, but she thanked my boss for protecting the victims' families. Right on.

Best Pick-Up Line I've Heard

Granted, I am about 94% sure it was Chad from Intervention, but this was heard after a serious session with Ted and Bob, a grocery trip, and a funky cookie later:

"And now showing,'Girls Too Pretty for Midtown'"

I smiled for minutes.

In Yo Face

The last time I had communicated with the infamous intern in my office, I was three drinks deep and basically breaking up with him in the smoke lounge of Zebra via phone. Now he is here today. Just showed up even though I already have an intern today. Well fuckity fuck, dude. I meant what I said on the phone.

To explain, this fella came over one night a few months ago with a bottle of whiskey and a broken heart. His girlfriend of a long time was done with him. He said they were really breaking up this time, that he would not go back and he was moving on. We drank and laughed and hung out all night, and then proceeded to stay up most of the night. For the first time, he slept over with me and waking up to another guy is pretty big to me, especially when we were secretly having an affair for more than a year. He even bought me breakfast the next morning....

I didnt hear from him for a few days, but I didn't give a shit. He probably felt bad or something. Well about a week later I am stumbling through Safeway with my neighbor Mike and lo and behold- there he is. As I walk forward smiling, the image of a much-blonder her came into focus and slapped my senses clean. WTF? I fakes the hellos until they left, and got the fuck out of the store.

Fast forward to Zebra. The prick is drunk (alcoholic) and calling to see what I am up to. A booty call. Well, Sir Fuck You, remember when I saw you with your girl when you said you two were done??? Go fuck yourself and never call me again.

Can't believe he is here today. Fake it till he leaves, then curse his bastard soul.

For those who do not two-wheel...you miss a lot.

Where I'd rather be....

Riding with Pee Wee!!!

Myokymia

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays cannot bring me joy as they used to. My fucktarded intern always ruins my day, and today he left people in tears with his general inability to answer a fucking phone normally. He also made my eye twitch, which it will not stop doing.

Wacktress Video Game

Thoughts

Walking to work today I saw the cutest little old lady getting out of her car. She had a denim jumper with a yellow sweater and purse...tre Karnette. As she passed me, I realized she had a state badge hanging from her neck. It really hit me that this lady belongs in an RV or out gardening-not getting to work before 9am. I've always wanted a really good paying job so that when it comes her time, my momma won't have to work. I want her to chill out after working her whole life and raising two twin hellions.

Other thought, I am taking a mini break from riding my bike. As in not riding every single day. I love my bicycles so very much, but I ride them so much I have to repair them all the time. Walking the grid has so many opportunites. I make eye contact with way more people, I get to talk to strangers (my favorite). Just a few days ago as I was walking back from Safeway that guy from Intervention who was a pro cyclist asked me for change on a $4000 bike. I laughed and said no. The lady behind me mumbled something, so I turned around and explained who that guy was. I ended up walking with her for a block, just strolling and bitching. I can't even stiffle the smiles.

Work is ok. I would kill a kitten to make more money. I rearraged my desk yesterday and like the newer attempt at privacy. This month my homegirl is getting married. Every single weekend she has an event. Seriously? Shower, Bachelorette, and then wedding. Just to get to all three events would cost me at least $160. With lodging in Tahoe and such, its upwards of $400.00. Yikes! She didn't even put me in the wedding party! I secretly hope the budget will cause me to stay here in Sac. Who would want to leave this weather?